


Incomplete

by glitterlovegal



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Other, Panic Attacks, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-06-05 11:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15170045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterlovegal/pseuds/glitterlovegal
Summary: Everyone knows something is up with Nick, but nobody can figure out why. It's not until he breaks down in front of the other four that they really know what's going on. Will the group be able to stay together, or will this break the band up?





	1. Breaking Down

**Author's Note:**

> Nick is 38  
> AJ is 40  
> Howie is 44  
> Kevin is 46  
> Brian is 43

Every boy band has five personalities: the dreamboat, the glue, the shy one, the bad boy, and the boy next door. Most fans want to believe that Nick is the dreamboat, Howie is the glue, Kevin is the shy one, AJ is the bad boy, and Brian is the boy next door. That's what the PR team and the boys want you to believe. 

On a hot summer day in July, all five guys are sitting around trying to write new music for their next album. Nick normally has a lot to say when it comes to writing new music. However, today is different. Nick has barely said two words today. That's highly unusual. Normally, the boys can't get him to shut up for two seconds. Since Brian is Nick's best friend, he is the first to notice it.

"Nick, you okay man?"

"Fine."

"You don't act like it."

"I said I'm fine Brian."

"Will you just..."

"I've gotta go."

At this point, Nick is running down the hall, trying to find some privacy so no one will see what's coming next. He knows it's coming, but none of the other four boys know. His wife doesn't even know. Once Nick does find some privacy, he puts his back against the wall and slides down to the floor. His heart is pounding so loud that he thinks everyone in the building can hear it, he can't catch his breath, and he feels like he is dying. Plus, he's crying his eyes out at this point.

Meanwhile, back in the room with the other four....

"Guys, does something seem off about Nick today?"

"Yea, but I don't know what."

"Do you think he's back to using alcohol again?"

"No, I don't think so."

"We need to get to the bottom of this soon."

"Guys...let's not pressure him. Let him come to us."

The guys continue to brainstorm. Finally, Nick comes back. However, the boys can tell that he's been crying.

"Everything okay dude?"

"I'm fine."

"Nick, clearly you're not fine. You've been crying. We can all see it."

"Fine. You really want to know what's going on with me?"

"Ummm yeah, that was kinda the whole point."

"Okay. I've been hiding this from everyone, including all four of you and Lauren."

"Are you back to drinking again?"

"No Howie. I'm not."

"Oh thank God."

"AJ! Shhhh!"

"As I was saying, I need to tell you four something."

"Anything man, anything."

"Shhh!"

"I went to the doctor last week to confirm what I've thought all along. I have social anxiety. Sometimes, that comes with panic attacks. Unfortunately, I have the form with panic attacks. Honestly, I'm terrified even telling the four of you because I'm afraid you all would judge me or kick me out of the group or something. I'm literally afraid of other people and what they think of me. I've been dealing with this from the start of our careers, but I didn't want to jeopardize our stardom over something so stupid."

*******************TO BE CONTINUED******************************


	2. The Aftermath

Kevin is the first to speak up. "Nick, why would you hide this from us? We're like brothers. We would never judge you.

Nick replies. "That's what they all say. I know it doesn't seem like I'm shy, but on the inside I'm freaking out." 

AJ speaks up next. "I wish I knew sooner. I can't believe I missed the signs." 

Brian says: "AJ, none of us saw this coming. None of us." 

Nick says: "Howie, you haven't said a word. Are you mad at me?" 

Howie: "No, I'm not mad. I'm just processing things. Normally I can read people, but you hid it so well." 

After Howie finishes speaking, Nick looks down at his hands and starts crying. 

Nick says "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have told you guys. Now you all hate me. I know you do." 

Nick gets up and tries to leave the room, because he knows another panic attack is coming.

Brian and Kevin jump up out of their chairs to stop Nick from leaving. 

Nick can't even make eye contact at this point. 

In his mind, the other four are all judging him. 

Nick's anxiety has reached a boiling point. 

He finds a wall and sits down with his back up against it.

He's trying to breathe, but it doesn't feel like there is enough air for him to take in. 

AJ gets down on the floor in front of Nick.

AJ says: "Nick. Listen to me. You're okay. We don't hate you." 

Howie tries to rub circles on Nick's back, but Nick just pushes his hand away.


	3. The Aftermath (Part 2)

Nick is so embarrassed because he had a panic attack in front of his four best friends. He has tried so hard to hide this for so long, but he just can't anymore. However, he doesn't want to tell management because then they will cancel the tour and the album. Plus the fans would find out that everything they thought they knew was a lie. He couldn't do that to 20 million plus fans. 

AJ is the first to speak. "Nick, how long has this been happening?"

"About 25 years. So pretty much the entire time we have been together. I tried to hide it because I was afraid of you guys judging me."

Kevin is the next to speak. "We are like brothers. We would never judge you. Ever."

Nick looks up at Kevin and then looks away, almost crying again.

Brian takes Nicks hands and holds them. He says, "I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Howie, or Kevin, or AJ".

Howie is trying to process everything. He wants to talk to Nick, but he knows that now probably isn't the best time to be asking a lot of questions.

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to comment/critique so I know what to improve upon for the next chapter(s).


End file.
